I am more than the "hot" girl
Physical beauty is melting us
and also blinds us.
We absolutely love to create fantasies
in our head about how that person is
and when reality breaks the fantasy
so the fanaticism!
In the past I attracted in my field
Men who were in love with an image and not the reality.
When they are in this shallowness.
They don't really want to go deep.
And know and love the REAL person infront of them,
They just want to feed this dream state.
Some guys that approach me
only want to own me like a trophy,
Put me in a box and make me stay there,
Shape me so I'm beautiful to their ideal,
They wanted to consume me
like they would eat fast food,
Without honouring my heart, my soul,
my feminity, my sacredness, my wildness.
When being the "nice pleasing girl"
Actually becomes self abuse!
And denial of being the true self!
Let's break this frame!
Fuck this bullshit!
I'm wild,
I'm sacred,
I'm not just a body,
I'm not just an image,
I'm not here to please you,
Or fit into your boxes, images or fantasies.
I'm Human and this is divine!
Are you ready for ME?
My light, my shadow?
Are you being present?
Do you really want to love deeply?
I want to pierce your bubble
so you fall from the projections you put on me!
I recently realised that in the past,
I have been participating and feeding this illusions,
Because of not connecting to myself deeply,
(The magical, wild love, source that we are all made of)
I didn't love or know myself enough,
I didn't see beyond,
I unconsciously needed to feel beautiful and sexy,
No matter what,
This is how I knew myself to be,
"the beautiful hot girl",
At least I had this attribute,
That was my self worth,
That's how I used to make a lot of money,
That's the compliments I got so often,
That was safe,
That was satisfying my ego.
And the limited vision I had of who I am.
Until it was not.
Until I suffered when I didn't feel sexy,
Until I was taken for granted.
Until I lost my power.
Until I saw that under the mask,
I was so insecured and full of denial...
Addicted, needy of this external validation,
Deeply desperate for some real Love.
I often hidden this real me,
Trading being human and real
For some "beauty" or "cool" label approval.
I fell apart inside and my heart broke,
In this dark process,
I met my soul and my magic,
The force of unconditional love,
I'm done feeding this illusions,
I'm done just being the "beautiful pleasing" girl,
I'm done being unconscious,
I'm in a process of growth,
I'm so much more than I know,
I won't bend my truth for some shallow approval!
I'm done selling my soul for some quick fix of fake love,
I want the deep unconditional love,
The real deal,
I want to rise higher,
And do my best to embrace
All the parts of me.
Then the universe will match me.
#selflovepath
#humananddivine
Lua Leo
